The grand-mal tantrum

Recently we've been told to scrap the whole ODD thing and we're now to focus on separation and social anxieties. So we listen to the valid points we pay attention we start speech therapy to help with social interactions and still I have more questions. Some of which stem from my own awareness of society's ignorance and the judgments that come with it. I know that a typical adult would not understand that my kid has ADHD & anxiety but also throws enormous tantrums and attends a special education school where he's 1 of 6 kids in his class with 1 teacher and an aid. Typically during transitional times we struggle the most. So going back to school has been a little challenging. Although he'll get up get ready for the day, go to school, and mostly cooperate there (thus far). Getting him to wind down close to bedtime has been a true nightmare. The kid is completely defiant and seeking constant attention. And it's not like normal amounts of attention, like the amount of attention that sucks you away from any other activity you were doing. In "normal parenting" some people in certain times encourage you to ignore temper tantrum attention-seeking Behavior. In "Liam parenting" when you ignore it, it just gets louder and more repetitive. He knocks on walls and doors and kicks and shouts and manipulates every parental last nerve that you've got. And when it comes to a point that you have to physically relocate him he screams like you're trying to take one of his limbs away. When Liam was younger (about 3) and the weather was nice enough to have my windows open, he'd throw a long loud tantrum over something silly like me saying "no" to a juice box. I would shut his bedroom door and go stand in the middle of my front yard just so the neighbors would know I wasn't beating my kid. Do other people do that I wonder? Are other moms just loitering in their own front lawn politely waving to neighbors while their kids scream loudly for basically no reason? Anyway, in our most recent bedtime Adventure after about 20 minutes of a tantrum I step out into the backyard to catch a cold breeze on my face and take a deep breath only to notice that my neighbor's ears are pressed up against their kitchen window in my direction. It's dark and I don't think they know I'm out there so I just holler and neighborly "Is there something I can help you with?" And like ghosts they were gone... I returned to house, get Liam some water, and mentally prepare my explanation for the local police on the off chance that they were notified of the neighborhood howler monkey named Liam. Thank God, they never arrived. Right at the brink of a full mamam-meltdown, we tucked all the kids into bed, tuck ourselves into bed and go into a full mind mush coma and off to sleep. We get up the next day and do it all again thinking "What can we do differently today?" Mama survival clinches: - if at first you don't succeed try try again - I think I can, I think I can - hang in there, Kitty